FA + Falling = Warzone

It is only Thursday afternoon and this week has been a bit of a warzone for me. FA has been getting the better of me, I have falling a few times mainly off the toilet when trying to get back into my wheelchair. Like today I totally over shot my wheelchair and face planted on to the cold floor. No major injuries just a few grazes and a bump to the head.  My mum and brother had to help me back into my wheelchair, I feel so silly when I fall and can’t get myself back up.

Afterwards my brother was asking me why I have a big problem with asking for help. I was trying to explain to him but he didn’t understand it, all I could say was that I get a huge rush of self gratification when I accomplish something on my own. I love the feeling, I guess you could say it’s my drug I am addicted. That’s why I prefer trying to do things myself, rather than asking for help.

Is it just me?? Am I the only FA or wheelchair user who feels like this?? Or is it some sort independent code that we disabled people have build into us??

This may sound a little crazy but I tend to feel more human and alive, knowing that I have accomplish something on my own doesn’t matter whether it’s big or small.

For now in my life with FA are getting harder do Yes I will admit that. (First time I have admitted it) so for as long as I can I still want to do the things I can do for now on my own. I know FA will get worse over time and it will come to the day where I will have to ask for the help for the most basic of tasks.  Trust me that is on  my mind every day and as always we will cross that bridge as and when I get to it, as for now hopefully that’s something  future Justin to deal with.  I’m just going to keep living my life doing the stuff I can and maybe asking for help with the stuff I can’t, see I am leaning baby steps :-).